"About that time, Watchman [Nee] made one of the most difficult decisions of his life. He had grown up in the same neighborhood as the Changs, a Christian family with several children. Charity Chang used to tag along after [Watchman] everywhere he went. He had always viewed her as something of a friendly pest; but now in his early twenties, Watchman could hardly get her off his mind. Charity had blossomed into a beautiful young woman and an intellectual match for Watchman as well. Her faith was immature and her goals far from his own, yet Watchman would not give up his dream of marrying her. He had fallen deeply in love with Charity Chang.
Watchman tried everything he could think of to justify his love for her. He witnessed to her. He prayed for her. He labored to get her to commit her life to Christ. But Charity, unable to understand his spiritual passion, only laughed at his efforts. He was finding it almost impossible to preach, until one day he came across the verse "Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You" (Psalm 73:25).
Watchman tried everything he could think of to justify his love for her. He witnessed to her. He prayed for her. He labored to get her to commit her life to Christ. But Charity, unable to understand his spiritual passion, only laughed at his efforts. He was finding it almost impossible to preach, until one day he came across the verse "Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You" (Psalm 73:25).
I cannot preach this passage, he thought. He confessed that there was one person on earth who rivaled God for his love. "But I cannot give her up," he told the Lord. "I will make a deal with you, Father. Let me continue to love her and I will move far away from her. I will preach for You in the remote mountains of Tibet if necessary." For weeks, Watchman struggled through halfhearted sermons and avoided Psalm 73 with care.
Then one cold, February day, he could take it no longer. He returned to his room, opened his Bible, and cried out to God, "I will lay her aside! Never will she be mine!" A supernatural peace flooded his spirit. That night, he wrote a song that Charity would not see for many years.
Then one cold, February day, he could take it no longer. He returned to his room, opened his Bible, and cried out to God, "I will lay her aside! Never will she be mine!" A supernatural peace flooded his spirit. That night, he wrote a song that Charity would not see for many years.
My precious Savior now I love
Him only would I please.
For Him all gain a loss becomes
And comfort holds no ease.
Thou are my comfort, gracious Lord
I've none in heaven but Thee.
And who but Thee is there on earth
With whom I love to be?
Though loneliness and trials come,
My griefs I'd raise above.
This only would I ask Thee, Lord:
Surround me with Thy love!"
-Bob Laurent; Watchman Nee: Man of Suffering; p. 48-50